On a day when most in the nation’s capital are celebrating a decrease in American firepower in Iraq, those of a soccer-minded persuasion are simply left wondering, “Where will the firepower come from?”

D.C. United have played 26 competitive matches this year, and managed a meager 25 goals from them.

The figure becomes even worse reading when U.S. Open Cup matches are taken out of consideration: 15 goals in 21 matches reads United’s utterly laughable league scoresheet so far this campaign.

The record for ineptitude in the final third is 25 goals in Toronto’s inaugural 2007 season, and while I’m all for one-upping those Canadians whenever possible, this is one record no one in D.C. wants to claim.

In order to avoid that ignominy, United will need to tally 11 goals in its remaining 8 league games.

To offer some perspective on just how it long it might take United to score 11 goals, Danny Allsopp is currently the club’s top scorer, registering a lofty four goals—for the entire season.

The fact that new coach Ben Olsen has apparently dumped any hope of saving face in the league for a Portsmouth-esque assault on the Cup certainly doesn’t bode well for avoiding the infamous record either.

So who is to blame for this Biblical goal drought?

Chris Pontius and Santino Quaranta, stalwarts of United’s attacking midfield, have been largely anonymous this season.

Pontius showed flashes of brilliance in Seattle and a handful of friendlies, but nothing of note in the league.

Some expected Adam Cristman to pick up the goal slack following an unfortunate metatarsal injury last season, but that has not come to fruition either (putting faith in a Kansas City import was always a dubious prospect anyway).

Seventeen-year old Academy product Andy Najar has been one of the lone bright spots this season, netting three goals in 19 appearances and showing real signs of promise for the future.

What can be done to end this dearth of goals you ask?

The obvious answer is a Capitol Hill favorite: throw some money at the problem.

One need only look toward New York (with envious eyes) to see the fruits of splashing a little cash on a goal-poacher in this league of heavy parity.

The D.C. backroom staff must have considered this option, but decided rather than actually spending money on a quality player who can score goals (heck maybe even win some games), they should instead squander their Designated Player spot on a midfielder who hasn’t had a nose for goal since almost a decade ago in the Serbo-Montenegrin Football League, and no reputation whatsoever outside of Central Europe.

In his defense, Branko Boskovic can hardly be expected to have the impact of an Henry, Castillo, Marquez, or even Guzman, because he is quite simply not an out-and-out striker. Boskovic is merely an innocent pawn in a very, very poorly played game.

The midfielder impressed mightily as recently as 2008 in the heart of a Rapid Vienna side that won the Austrian Bundesliga, and indeed had he been placed at the interior of a quality MLS side he may have found real success as a ball winner and distributor.

But if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, D.C. would have more than four wins.

D.C. took a swing with finally signing another D.P. (only the third in club history).

It was far from a threatening hack, but fans in Philadelphia, Columbus, and New England must certainly be feeling the breeze from the almighty miss.

The D.P. in MLS is a tricky entity, he must be measured not only by impact on the team in terms of wins and losses but also (perhaps more importantly in a perverse sense) in terms of fannies in the seats.

Boskovic has delivered on neither.

How the United staff could so quickly set aside the memory of a successful goal-scoring crowd favorite D.P. like Emilio and opt for an over-the-hill central mid from football's Hinterlands is beyond my obviously limited soccer understanding, yet perhaps given time Olsen will be able to remedy the mistake.

D.C. supporters are passionate to a fault, yet some of the most understanding and intelligent fans of the game in general I’ve ever had the pleasure of coming across.

They understand that sports are cyclical, and United is not subjected to the cruel fate of a relegation system that most other leagues in the world use.

It is certainly not a far stretch to imagine how the past few seasons of soccer in D.C. could have United ending up as America’s first Leeds United or Nottingham Forest: a grand old club languishing several rungs down the ladder and with no escape plan to speak of.

This season may be tanked, but we can all at least look forward with hope to the Olsen era, and perhaps even a D.P. signing that can pay dividends in goals scored.

Maybe not, probably not, but at this point hope (and the Cup) is all that’s left for this proud franchise.

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