Before any of you read this, raise your hand if you actually watch Major League Soccer.

Liar!

I love soccer. I've been playing it since I was six, and the greatest job in the world would be to play in a professional soccer league. But in reality, not only are there very, very few people who actually watch MLS soccer games, but the league's jersey sales are the lowest in the country. And this is for good reasons, too—you seldom find superstars in the league, a big problem, because those virtually unstoppable players are what make professional sports fun to watch.

Let's be honest—it is doubtful whether MLS will ever be able to compete with America's four major professional leagues (MLB, NHL, NFL, NBA). But, just for the fun of it, I'm going to list ways MLS can be saved.

Recruit more international superstars.

Despite some rare international talent, such as David Beckham and Juan Pablo Ángel, MLS is dominated by Americans. I'm not saying that we should create an NHL situation, where only 10 percent of players are from the U.S., I'm just saying that we need to offer a large wad of cash to couple of notorious international players—just to make watching a little more interesting.

Get more media coverage.

Like I said, it's rare to meet someone who actually watches MLS. If I was the commissioner, I would have an MLS commercial on every other time slot of every single channel. No, not literally, but still—nobody knows when and where to find MLS soccer games on their TV. Someone needs to inform them.

Lower ticket/jersey prices.

What's the best way to make something popular? Make it so cheap that a hobo can buy it. Again, not literally, but until MLS gains some popularity, it probably isn't the wisest idea to make jerseys $72 each. That's the NFL's job. Make them nice and affordable, and once MLS gains some popularity, then you can have NFL prices.

If MLS does all of this, they will be very successful. But, since they don't do any of this, they will stay the same.

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