The Recent Results: Wow, last year was actually one of the worst in United’s history. They missed the playoffs by finishing sixth in the East. They tied for seventh overall in goals scored and they were deplorable on defense as they ended the year only above the Galaxy in goals against. Gallardo was a huge bust. Overall, it was pretty ugly.

The Man in Charge: Despite their insanely bad play and their absolutely atrocious record on the road, Tom Soehn is back in the saddle in DC this year. His seat has to be the hottest in the entire league though as I just can’t fathom the suits will keep him for long if DCU struggles early on. Hey, at least he has motivation to win right away though, right?

On the Offensive: With Gallardo gone, C. Gomez is back where he belongs controlling United’s fortunes as their attacking midfielder. At least I know where he is now, right? DCU also still has Jaime Moreno, Mr. Simms, and Fred, so maybe they can recapture some of their old magic. It will have to be “old” magic with this bunch due to their age.

For the Defense: Though Gomez is an upgrade over Gallardo, the defense hasn’t improved since the offseason, so I figure DCU is still in deep trouble in 2009. Not only do they lack experience in the back, but they have absolutely no depth. Whether its Wells or Crayton in goal, it won’t matter because whoever is there will be facing a firing squad.

Movie They Resemble: I really was tempted to go with Dick here because of the DC connection and the fact Gomez just emerged from a stadium with the same moniker, but instead I will go with Resurrecting the Champ, that Samuel L. Jackson movie about a washed-up boxer that came out a couple of years ago. Like Sam’s character in that movie, I think DC may be done. But, hey, at least it looks like they will get a new stadium so they won’t be homeless like him too.

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